Education Training

“What? You’re home-what? Homeschooling? What’s that? Teach my own kids? Oh, I could never do that. You’re not a teacher. You don’t have a teaching certificate. You don’t have a degree in education. What about the kids? What about their socialization? You’re going to teach them high school levels, too? You didn’t take Biology in high school, how will you teach it? You can’t homeschool with the hours you keep! You’ve always been a second-shifter. You can’t let your kids keep those hours. I can’t wait ‘til the school bus gets here, so I can put my kids on it. 24 hours a day with them? I could never homeschool my kids – they drive me crazy. Are you crazy?”
Wow! Have you ever heard any of these questions and comments? Maybe not word-for-word, but I bet you’ve heard something similar. Well, friend, I have been homeschooling for TWELVE years and I kid you not —- I have personally received every single one of those off-handed comments listed above!

I’m here to tell you today – who cares? It doesn’t put me off today. It didn’t put me off in the beginning. And, it’s not going to put me off in the future. Careless words coming from your well-meaning friends and family members don’t have to bring you down either. Instead, let them serve as a catalyst to keep your fire burning, to keep you fueled up and motivated year after year through this wonderful homeschooling journey! Here’s some tips to turn the negativity around…

Do you have conviction? Do you know “why” you homeschool? Chances are if you don’t know WHY you’re doing this, then you’ve got no conviction for WHAT you’re doing. There’s no way that you will EVER win over your inquisitive parents to your way of thinking if you don’t even believe in what you’re doing!

Would you buy a car from someone that couldn’t look you straight in the eye? Why not? Because you don’t believe the guy! In the car salesman’s defense, he may not be shady or unscrupulous at all. He may just be lacking conviction for what he does. Very much in the same way as the car salesman example, your family doesn’t believe YOU if you don’t have a strong conviction for what you are doing with your children’s education. When you believe in yourself, they will believe in you, too. You need to take some time and put some serious thought into creating a list of your reasons “why” you choose to homeschool. You and I both know that it has nothing to do with choosing the right homeschool curriculum. Your “why” is personal to you and your family. Whatever it is, figure it out and write it down. Refer to your list when you feel like you’re wavering in this decision. If you don’t have a strong conviction, you’ll never win your family and friends over. Once you figure out your “why”, then you’ll be able to discuss the subject with confidence and your family will hear your heart and your conviction loud and clear.

Be informed – Do you know homeschool facts and statistics for successful homeschool graduates? Do you know ACT and SAT test score comparisons between public school learners and homeschool learners? Do you know how many homeschoolers have taken top seats in national academic competitions? How about scholarship award statistics? These examples are only a few of very worthy facts and figures to seek out and share with those folks that love you, but are unsure about this crazy thing called “homeschooling”.

You will have to do a bit of homework and a little fact research regarding homeschooling, but once you do, even YOU will be impressed by the statistics. Then you will know that you KNOW you are doing the right thing for your children. After discovering the nitty gritty about homeschooling, you’ll also strengthen that conviction we talked about earlier. You’ll come across as strong and secure when you answer those presumptuous relatives.
You gotta be bold – Have you ever been in a situation where one of your children was falsely accused? Or, maybe one time there was a bully in the sandbox at the local park that picked on your daughter? Do you remember that feeling that welled up inside you when your child suffered the injustice? That feeling is a protective instinct which is sometimes referred to as a “mother bear instinct”. Chances are that you had absolutely no trouble running to your child’s rescue when they were in danger or a difficult predicament. The next time somebody gives you grief about your personal choice to use home school curriculum for your children, you can decide NOT to run for cover. Instead, you can harness your natural protective instincts and flex those bulging courage muscles by politely and BOLDLY responding to their questions.

Be prepared with a gracious answer – Let’s face it. You are going to get questions. If you stick with your decision to homeschool, you will get questions, comments, judgmental attitudes, and funny looks. You may even be jeered, ridiculed, talked down to, and snubbed. So, if we KNOW AHEAD OF TIME that folks are going to dish it out, then WHY get upset over it?

One truth about human nature that I learned long ago from working in the restaurant business is this: People are people. AND, people are ALWAYS going to be people. When my children are adamant about getting offended over somebody else’s words or actions, I am quick to remind them that the only person on earth that they can control is themselves. So, if this is true, WHY get upset with “well-meaning, caring”, individuals that quiz you over homeschooling? Just be prepared with a gracious answer and call it a day!

Don’t be offended – When people ask questions, it is a tell-tale sign that they are interested. Resist the urge to jump immediately to the conclusion that they are “questioning” your judgment or expertise. That may only be your pride getting in the way of having an intelligent conversation with your mother-in-law. Flip the coin over and try to see it from her perspective. Perhaps she is just so in love with her grandchildren that she just wants to voice her concerns. She may just need you to listen to her, and give her the same proper respect for her “mom” title that you require from your own children for yourself. Use the conversation as an opportunity to share with her all that you have found to be true about homeschooling. In the long run, she will appreciate you for caring enough to listen to her and also, that you’ve provided more information about proven success for her.
Sometimes you have to be at peace in “agreeing to disagree” – Obviously, there *may* be someone in your life that is arrogant, prying and maybe downright vindictive. However, you don’t have to get upset over their choice to be negative. Let them get their thoughts and opinions out and then, you can look them in the eye and say, “Thank you so much for your concern. I appreciate you expressing care for us. It sounds as if we may never agree on this subject. I’m okay with that and I love you anyway.” Then, just leave it at that. You don’t owe anybody any additional explanations! You are the appointed one as caretaker for your children. YOU are responsible for making the educational choices in their lives. It’s as simple as that.

I hope you find something here to help you resist the negative feelings that may well up from normal human curiosity expressed via your family and friends. May you be encouraged to stay strong and keep rolling forward, day by day, and year by year. I promise you that there are just simply too many rewards for sticking to your guns and remaining steadfast in your calling to “teach your children in the way that they should go” because down the road, “when they are older, they will not depart from it”.

About the Author: Homeschool Buyers Co-op is the nation’s largest purchasing cooperative for homeschool curriculum. The Co-op combines the purchasing power of tens of thousands of homeschooling families around the country to give homeschoolers the same purchasing power as school districts. Homeschool groups are offered the ability to purchase home school curriculum at discounted prices through their free membership program.